Mingle

somehow different, not sure why;
just don’t get it.
small talk looks so easy,
natural as the day
for them;
an unclimbable cliff for me.

social chit chat;
guts twist at the prospect
of drinks at 6:
stand awkward
eyes darting
dry mouth.

small talk exhausted in two or three sentences.
look around
seek an avenue of escape;
and scurry to a corner
where I can pretend
not to be isolate.

people in circles excluding me
backs of heads
everywhere nodding and shaking,
lips smiling and moving;
complicit in a secret
I cannot be part of.

I have come to seek and save the lost, you said.
Dear Lord, you must have seen me
standing there with desperate eyes.

Early Retirement

moved beyond all that,
leaving it in the rear view;
status, title, salary,
no longer define me.

now more healthy
hear me roar;
getting in touch with myself
down deep and dark.
no need anymore
for coloured wrapping.

all is as it is;
not doing, so much as being;
and I find I like it.

moved on and left
those
who moved in tight circles
and cast their influence upon the waters,
(thought they) knew the angles
and lived small lives.

now
free from bondage
it might just be too easy
to slip out of orbit
and find no bridge
to anywhere else.

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