There is a finite risk this post will cause some of you to doubt my grip on reality. Be that as it may, I remain as sane as I have ever been. But I would say that, wouldn’t I?
The singer Jon Robinson is maybe not a household word, but I enjoy his music. I hope he doesn’t mind if I reproduce a couple of lines from his song “Rising in Me”.
Then a wind like a breath of life
carried everything up and away,
whirling and swirling and twirling
and living and and all I could say
was I’m in the spirit and the spirit’s in me.
In the spirit, everything’s free,
freer than it’s ever been
and all I could see
was a rainbow like a hurricane rising in me.
I don’t usually find much inspiration on Sunday evenings. The dying day usually finds me watching television or listening to music, trying to avoid thinking about the coming week. Not so this time.
As I leave the weekend behind I’m in a good place; despite what Monday holds. Picking my mother up from her nursing home, driving for an hour with her to a hospital, and waiting most of the day while she has a day surgical procedure, has every chance of being a testing, trying time for both of us. A day I’ll ‘never get back’, as the saying goes.
Right now the prospect doesn’t faze me. Tomorrow can look after itself, and probably will.
Sensing more than feeling it; a slow gentle tide of well-being is rising in me. Life force, peacefulness, even excitement, buoys me. It doesn’t overpower, but sits comfortably within, as if there has always been room there for it. It knows me intimately; affirms and relaxes me. A presence in no way alien, it completes me.
With unusual and beautiful certainty I know in these moments I am in a place that I have longed to be; neither in the driver’s seat, nor a passenger.
This evening I have no desire for things beyond the present. Here and now is enough. I know without needing to wonder, that anything and everything is possible. At the same time I feel no need to grasp for anything.
I might not be in this place tomorrow. Whether or not, I find myself at peace with that.
Is this the presence of God? Who knows? I’m happy to take it as a given though.
At the very least, what I have experienced tonight is a great way to start the week. I needed to share it.